Bock's Office http://www.bocksoffice.com The Ticket to Your Success! Sat, 16 Sep 2017 21:27:11 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Transferring the Vision http://www.bocksoffice.com/transferring-the-vision/ http://www.bocksoffice.com/transferring-the-vision/#respond Sat, 16 Sep 2017 21:27:11 +0000 http://www.bocksoffice.com/?p=1465 Have you ever experienced or heard about something really exciting that you want to share with someone else and you want them to be as excited about it as you are? And then you get disappointed when they just don’t get it like you want them to? Yeah, me either. What is it about someone […]

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Have you ever experienced or heard about something really exciting that you want to share with someone else and you want them to be as excited about it as you are? And then you get disappointed when they just don’t get it like you want them to?

Yeah, me either.

What is it about someone else’s excitement that has a kind of all-or-nothing way to either totally engage someone else or turn them off completely?

It’s one thing to have a vision of a dream or an experience. We all have that ability. Each of us has, at one time, had a dream that has awakened us – either in the middle of the night or right away in the morning – with some sort of emotion: fear, amazement, excitement. I’ve had dreams that seemed so real and vivid at the time, but really lose a lot of that emotion when I try to tell them to someone else.

Many times in a business setting especially, people have been trained away from the creative visioning process. They pride themselves on being problem-solvers, and they don’t allow time to dream and create and imagine. That problem-solving mindset seems to stop before the solving part kicks in and instead of being solution- and possibility-seeking, they are used to dropping it on someone else’s doorstep. Their point of view only allows them to see the problem, not the vision for how it could be different.

If you have the guts to share your dream or idea with someone else, you may find that dream shot down, especially if you haven’t taken the time to flesh it out and work through it for yourself. Be careful who you share it with.

So having the vision is one thing. Sharing it is something else entirely. It’s a skill you can improve with practice. When you realize a possible solution to a problem at work, it can seem overwhelming to be the only one with the idea. So when a dream or a vision grabs you, write it down. Work it out for yourself before you try to tell it to someone else. Otherwise I guarantee you’ll lose the person’s attention when you try to make sense of it as you’re telling it. This is as true for the dreams that grab you randomly in the middle of the night as those that occur as the solution to a business problem or challenge.

The real trick is developing the skill of actually transferring the vision to someone else.

Not only does this require the ability to believe in your own dreams and articulate them for yourself (which is a big deal in itself), it also requires the ability and willingness to use that skill and allow what you have said to be taken in by another, possibly reworked and revised, and expanded to reach further than it could by you alone.

There are so many things to talk about in this step, including allowing love to overtake fear and ego when entrusting your vision to someone else. That’s probably why fewer people actually ever transfer the vision than have it in the first place. You won’t ever really know how developed your skill of articulating your vision is until you attempt to first share it, and then, eventually, transfer it. But this is crucial to getting our own dreams and visions out into the world.

So get busy attracting those dreams and visions. Write them down. Work them out. Share them, and begin to entrust them to others to enhance and expand.

If we truly are in this life together, and if we are committed to synergy and playing big, we will need to learn to co-exist in this community we are creating. When we trust others to take our ideas and add to them, we will see that sharing expands, it doesn’t contract. We really are better together when we all bring the best parts of ourselves to the table.

 

 

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Are YOU a Badass? http://www.bocksoffice.com/are-you-a-badass/ http://www.bocksoffice.com/are-you-a-badass/#respond Mon, 04 Sep 2017 15:42:52 +0000 http://www.bocksoffice.com/?p=1451 When I first heard that word (badass) in the title of Jen Sincero’s first book You Are A Badass, it stirred many varied feelings in me. I’m sure there are probably as many contexts for the word “badass” as for any other word, but when I heard it, it took me back to my very-much-younger […]

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When I first heard that word (badass) in the title of Jen Sincero’s first book You Are A Badass, it stirred many varied feelings in me.

I’m sure there are probably as many contexts for the word “badass” as for any other word, but when I heard it, it took me back to my very-much-younger years when I wanted desperately to be a rule-breaker, but just couldn’t bring myself to become it.

Here’s what UrbanDictionary.com says (I LOVE THIS):

Unspoken Rules of Being Badass:
1. First rule of being a badass. A badass does not talk about being a badass. Period.
2. Second rule of being a badass, a badass does not try to be a badass or look tough. A badass simply is a badass.
3. A badass stays true to themselves, always. This means being themselves for themselves, and not being fake to impress others.
4. A badass does not give up. Badasses will always push themselves for the better, no matter how hard it gets.
5. A badass is not a jerk. A badass does not prey on the weak, and shows kindness in return to those who are kind.
6. A badass knows his/her limits. Don’t be stupid, you’re not Superman, you’ll die if you jump off a building.
7. A badass does not make enemies or go looking for fights. They do not fight fights that aren’t worth fighting either.

Any breaking of these rules is grounds revoking of the status of being a badass. If this happens, a badass must once again prove they are worthy of being badass by following the rules. A badass can only be determined by the opinions of others.

You see, I was raised by a mother who was a perfect rule follower. Never, ever did I see her do anything that might be considered pushing any envelope of any kind. I remember one time she had a sip of wine (that was outside the context of communion at church) and immediately decided it made her tipsy. And that was that. Never did I hear a swear word come out of her mouth. She got visibly (and verbally) upset if my sister or I even uttered the words “Shut up.”

Oh I wanted to be a badass, or what I believe I thought a badass was back then. I wanted to ride in fast cars and do the things that normal teens do (which might have been pushing the rules a bit). But I didn’t. To this day if there is a sign that says “no turn on red,” even if there are no cars coming, I won’t turn on red, dangit.

A badass is a kickass person who is out of struggle and living large and on purpose so she can be an inspiration to others who want to rise up, too.

When I read Jen’s first book, it was like the switch was flipped inside of my rule-following self.

On page 11 she says:

“Deep down I KNEW I was a total rock star, that I had the power to give and receive and love with the best of ’em, that I could leap tall building in a single bound and could create anything I put my mind to ….”

And, like Jen, I tended to get stuck in what she calls low-level minutiae, and wondering where the time went I had devoted, in my mind, to living into my greatness.

I’ve had my moments of badassery. I’ve done things and been places and met people that high school version of me never would have believed possible. But for the most part I’ve flown under the radar – doing just enough work to make a positive difference, but not enough to attract any negative attention, which would have sent my rule-following self backwards into a downward spiral those old programs that told me “you’re not good enough” and “they won’t let you” dictated.

So … fast forward to a few months ago (yes, I know … I was a good faker) when I decided to make my 66-Day Challenge the answer to the statement “I am a badass.” Talk about a powerful “I am” statement! When you change the way you look at things, so said Wayne Dyer, the things you look at change. And that renewed perspective is definitely unleashing all the buried and dormant badassery that has been there all the time, just waiting to be, well, unleashed.

In light of the devastation of Hurricane Harvey, it’s becoming abundantly clear that the world needs tons of enlightened millionaires to be able to start this train a-comin’. In the words of the Queen of Badassery, Jen says “We need smart people with huge hearts and creative minds to manifest all the wealth, resources, and support they need to make their difference in the world.”

And, it’s time to call forth that badassery in a big way. So … are you ready to join my good friend Lindsay Joy and me as we lead you through a six-week study of Jen’s next book, You Are A Badass At Making Money?

We’re starting with 12 people in a virtual mastermind study beginning on Tuesday, September 19 at noon central. The first 5 people to register get a book sent to them, but you’ll need to do that this week. Don’t wait. Step into your badassery and start making some serious cash so you can change the world for the better, starting with you.

Here’s the link to register: Who’s in?

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Raise the Standard, Raise the Bar http://www.bocksoffice.com/raise-the-standard-raise-the-bar/ http://www.bocksoffice.com/raise-the-standard-raise-the-bar/#respond Wed, 30 Aug 2017 14:00:16 +0000 http://www.bocksoffice.com/?p=1442 One of my business partners and mentors was a high jumper in high school, and he was the one to remind me recently of the name of the brackets that hold the bar. They are called standards. So when the standards are raised, the bar automatically raises with them. This was a huge aha for […]

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One of my business partners and mentors was a high jumper in high school, and he was the one to remind me recently of the name of the brackets that hold the bar.

high jump standards labeled

They are called standards. So when the standards are raised, the bar automatically raises with them.

This was a huge aha for me. Unless the high jump competition is starting over, the standards are not lowered. They are only raised. Let’s translate this to life outside of track and field.

Here’s a dictionary definition of standard:

Standard Definition

So when your business or your organization or even you as a person have defined the standards, it’s something to strive for. It’s not something that is compromised. Once we’ve declared our standards, they are non-negotiable.

Sometimes it appears as though organizations either haven’t declared their standards, or they are pressured to lower them to attract a higher volume of customers or interest. Scarcity mentality would dictate that that’s the correct action to take.

Yet when you come from a place of contribution, curiosity, and abundance, there is no need to compromise your standards. You won’t appeal to everyone, and that’s the whole idea. When the standards are upheld, the bar stays high as well. And the people who understand that will be the people you want to do business with for the long run.

As soon as you declare your standards, there will be situations tugging at your heartstrings to make an exception. How badly do you want what you say you want? Since we don’t see things as they are but we see things as we are, if we don’t believe in our own standards, we will be more likely to compromise than if we were firm in our own resolve.

You will have all kinds of reasons why you could lower those standards. But you can have reasons or you can have new outcomes: you can’t have it both ways. It will be tough at first. Taking a stand is always tough because so few others out there appear to be doing it. You might have to go backwards to go forward. I promise you there are others out there waiting for you to take that stand, and you won’t see them until you’ve made that decision.

Stay the course. Hold firm to your standards. Don’t get stuck in the “yeah-but” cycle. It’s a dangerous downward spiral. If you notice yourself in that rut, ask yourself, “I know I can’t, but what if I could?”

The world needs your resolve toward your goals and dreams. We need your example. Since most people are waiting for someone else to do something so they know how to think and who to follow, it might as well be you.

What if you are the one you’ve been waiting for?

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Love Needs to Win http://www.bocksoffice.com/love-needs-to-win/ http://www.bocksoffice.com/love-needs-to-win/#respond Wed, 16 Aug 2017 21:30:20 +0000 http://www.bocksoffice.com/?p=1345 I haven’t written a blog post in a long time. My daily Facebook messages have filled that need to write, for the most part. But today, I need to say something. I’ve done my best to remain neutral. To see the positive and the good in every single situation. I believe in allowing everyone to […]

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I haven’t written a blog post in a long time. My daily Facebook messages have filled that need to write, for the most part. But today, I need to say something.

I’ve done my best to remain neutral. To see the positive and the good in every single situation. I believe in allowing everyone to have his/her own opinion and point of view. I subscribe to the belief that there is nothing that is good or bad but thinking makes it so.

But when it comes to the degradation of human rights and the fiber of human life, I have a very difficult time seeing the possibility in what happened this past weekend and, really, what has been happening for millennia regarding segregation, supremacy, judgment, ego and everything else that, for me, carries heaviness and sadness and, yes, even anger.

When it comes to basic human decency, at the level of humanity, I cannot even fathom how racism is in any way moving in a positive direction. If all of nature is about creation, which is possibility and growth, and if we’re not growing on purpose we are disintegrating, I can no longer just sit back and watch what’s going on without saying something.

When people fight against the things they don’t want, it should be no surprise that that’s what keeps showing up. We’ve become so polarized in our thinking as humans that we have lost what we really believe in and what we stand FOR.

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to say and to do nothing. And, as leaders who are building the bridges as they walk on them, we who believe in love and light may bear the risk of being shot in the back as we forge the trail.

It’s not OK for me to remain silent anymore. I believe to my core that those who are the hardest to love are the ones who need it the most. And the challenge will be greatest for those who are spreading the love in the midst of hate and violence and inexcusable behaviors that emerge in the absence of love. It’s totally understandable how people begin to believe more in the darkness when the light seems to be absent. But, as Marianne Williamson says, the light will enter at the slightest invitation. And sometimes that’s when things are beginning to crack apart. If the light can enter through those cracks in the foundations of the beliefs and behaviors, that’s where there is hope.

We have so very many opportunities to spread the light because the cracks are becoming more obvious. Now is the time to stay in the light because now is the time it’s the most difficult to do so.

It is the most hurt people who make the conscious decision to hurt others. Now is the time it’s the most difficult to hate the act without hating the one who does the acting. What will we lightbearers do? What action will we take?

The current state of our America has me rethinking some of the petty grudges I have even unconsciously been holding against people. The upsets and frustrations I have felt about wrongs I feel were done to me which may or may not even be true (I have a healthy imagination when it comes to making up and living into stories in my own head) seem so very stupid now in light of yet another wake-up call to speak about light and love. Why would I ever let those little things pile up and become one big obstacle which blocks the light?

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to say/do nothing.

I need to speak. I need to encourage and invite people into dialogue. I need to teach them one or two ways to do that. I need to help them determine if that is something they, too, are committed to. I need to. I must.

And not in an accusatory, finger-pointing, blaming, justifying, judging way. In an inviting, open dialogue where we – all of us – agree to suspend previous assumptions in order to learn from each other. FROM. EACH. OTHER.

“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”

Are we prepared to eliminate the vision of the entire world? Without a vision people perish.

Our actions – MY actions – right now will be crucial to the future outcome.

Who is speaking FOR when everyone seems to be speaking AGAINST?

Let’s have a dialogue about the FOR. Let’s THINK, then FEEL, then ACT.

My new friend Sam sent a video this week which has precipitated this discourse. Take a few minutes right now and watch it. Then come back and let’s talk.

My notes from Jordan’s talk: I need to speak, and I will pay a price. I choose which poison I will take: poison for speaking or for choosing not to. Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes. It is not safe to speak. It never will be. But it is also not safe NOT to speak. If you never stand up for yourself, everyone will appear to be against you. If you believe truth is the cornerstone of society, then tell the truth and see what happens. There will be ups and downs and controversies, but it doesn’t matter. The truth is what redeems the world from hell. Tell the truth, or at least don’t lie. That’s a start.

Among the many things I’ve learned through my conversations in the past 24 hours are:

1) Speak out your good ideas and allow others to make them great. Even if they are not all formed and perfect yet – still speak them.

2) My listening allows others’ communication to be more honest and vulnerable and authentic. If others feel threatened or unsafe, they will not have the space in which to be affirmed and supported to work through their own speaking. Speaking thoughts into reality is an art and listening so that others feel powerful is a skill that can be improved by its practice.

3) I am an Isumataq (or I am aspiring to be one). An Isumataq is the person who holds the space for wisdom to emerge. I don’t have the answers. I am working to master the art of asking powerful questions and allowing solutions and ideas to emerge.

4) Instead of convincing others of my position or my point of view, I am much more interested in cultivating relationships; in tilling fertile soil so that seeds can be planted and tended and harvested. But if I don’t speak, there is no jumping-off point for the dialogue. If I go first, the dialogue has a chance to get sparked. I am only in charge of myself, and I intend to set the space as welcoming and affirming as long as others come with the same intention FOR dialogue, not discussion (the root of which is similar to percussion and concussion).

I don’t know what will come of this essay. I don’t know what it means when I say “I’m ready to speak.” But I know that I will be open to possibilities. I will be an Isumataq. I will remain committed to finding the highest common denominator among people instead of letting gravity pull us to the lowest.

If you’re with me, super. If you’re against me, that’s OK too. Just don’t get in the way by doing nothing and remaining silent. Know that your energy will always be through the eyes of love or the eyes of fear. If it’s not one, it’s the other.

As for me, I choose love. And in the game of expansive living, love will win.

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What is the “RIGHT” Thing To Do? http://www.bocksoffice.com/what-is-the-right-thing-to-do/ http://www.bocksoffice.com/what-is-the-right-thing-to-do/#respond Tue, 07 Feb 2017 01:33:00 +0000 http://www.bocksoffice.com/?p=1404 Right now is a very interesting time to be alive in the world. The key word in that previous sentence is the word “alive.” Perhaps it would have been more accurate to say “awake.” Right now is a very interesting time to be awake in the world. Many – it’s not too dramatic to say […]

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Right now is a very interesting time to be alive in the world.

The key word in that previous sentence is the word “alive.” Perhaps it would have been more accurate to say “awake.” Right now is a very interesting time to be awake in the world.

Many – it’s not too dramatic to say most – people alive in the world today are certainly alive; but very few of those are actually awake to the messages and lessons and signals being given to them every single day – every single moment – to guide them in living their lives full out.

What is it that causes people to ignore the signs that are there to wake them up to the life they were born to live?

Author Parker Palmer asks a very important question in his book Let Your Life Speak: “Is the life I am living … the same as the life that wants to live in me?”

All the discomfort, the restlessness, the discontentedness each of us feels at some point in our lives is there to wake us up to the life that is calling to us to be led.

Yet we’ve become addicted to busyness, which many of us confuse with productivity, especially in our work lives. We pride ourselves on how many plates we are able to keep spinning at the same time; never mind that those plates are wobbly and unstable: they’re still spinning. We feel at least some sense of accomplishment for a minute until we realize we have to start all over tomorrow.

If we start taking a good, hard look at what we truly want as leaders in our organizations, we then need to ask ourselves a couple of other questions: What are we doing or willing to do to get what we say we want and then, probably most importantly, How is what we are currently doing working?

If we’re not aware of the fact that we are present every time we face problems in our lives, we will be stuck in victim mentality, and will be looking for someone – anyone – to blame when things just don’t go the way we wished and hoped they would.

As long as you as a leader continue to look outside yourself for the “right” thing to do, you will be looking in the wrong place. Author and consultant Peter Block has identified the question he hears most often in his work as any question that begins with the word “how.” He has determined that this persistent question “how?” really shows the human struggle between living lives of purpose and lives of practicality.

In his book The Answer to How is Yes, Block notes that instead of asking whether or not something is even worth doing, most people get right to the question “How do we do it?” This leads not only to a lack of accountability for results, but a desperate search for the “right” answer to the “wrong” question.

His suggestion is that, instead of continuing to ask others how to do something, the better starting point is to question the questions.

How is what you are currently doing working to get you what you say you want? Are you even sure what that is? Maybe the first step to a life of purpose is to question the questions you find yourself asking. What is it that you most want? Are you passively wanting that, or more actively intending it? Even deeper: are you committed to it or just interested? When you can get to the core of your desired future, you will begin to get in touch with your own WHY: your purpose, your destiny and your calling.

When the WHY is big enough, that’s when the HOW will begin to appear.

What are you noticing as you begin to awaken? Are you uncomfortable? Are you restless? Are you upset? Everything that happens TO you is actually happening FOR you in an attempt to wake you up and have you start really living the life you were born to live.

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Does Knowledge Without Action Make A Difference? http://www.bocksoffice.com/does-knowledge-without-action-make-a-difference/ http://www.bocksoffice.com/does-knowledge-without-action-make-a-difference/#respond Fri, 06 Jan 2017 01:29:10 +0000 http://www.bocksoffice.com/?p=1402     If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room. And if you’re the smartest person in your own head, but that knowledge doesn’t manifest in real results, is it really knowledge? Like the tree that falls in the forest with no one around: does it make a […]

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If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.

And if you’re the smartest person in your own head, but that knowledge doesn’t manifest in real results, is it really knowledge? Like the tree that falls in the forest with no one around: does it make a sound?

I’m a new-this-season Philadelphia Eagles fan because I’m a longtime NDSU Bison fan – i.e. a Carson Wentz – fan. I had an aha while watching the Thursday night game the Eagles played against the New York Giants on December 22. I watched my boy Carson come off the field after a successful drive and, like almost every other quarterback does, he took off his black helmet and replaced it with a black Eagles baseball cap.

Nothing particularly special about that action. But in that moment I had an insight. Carson Wentz’s talent, skills, and gifts were discovered early in his life, and those talents are pretty obvious to anyone who knows football. He was hired by an organization who recognized those talents and the leaders of that organization will do anything and everything they can to make sure that Carson is put in the place where he can have the most support for utilizing those talents and skills.

As I watched Carson put that cap on that night, I thought to myself, “I bet Carson didn’t have to ask if he could have that cap. I bet he’s never asked for any tools or resources to make his job easier. In fact, I’ll bet his “boss” asks for his input and gets his insights and ideas in order to achieve the goals the organization has set for itself (or has had set for them). At least in the NFL, when you discover talent, you do whatever you need to do to make sure that talent can succeed at the highest level.

So I started thinking about how that concept might translate – or not – to Corporate America. How many businesspeople have been allowed to contribute their skills and talents and gifts at the highest level? How many businesspeople really truly know what gifts and talents their employees possess? Better yet, how many of those employees know themselves well enough to know what their own gifts are?

Sure, there are those prodigies and wunderkinds who could play piano virtuosos at age 2 or could program a computer before they got to school. Those gifts are obvious. And those stories are far from typical.

It’s so easy to feel victimized by the circumstances that have prevented you from being the superstar you believe yourself to be in your own mind. “But I know I’m talent,” you might think. “Why don’t they see my value?”

There are so many viewpoints to address that idea. Are you truly talent? If so, why don’t “they” see it? Are you a legend only in your own mind? Do you know how to present your talent in a way that gets noticed? Is the boss insecure about his/her own strengths and isn’t able to see something in someone else that might discount his over value?

In the book The Millionaire Real Estate Agent, authors Gary Keller and Jay Papasan identify two types of talent in the workplace: “capacity” talent and “cul-de-sac” talent. They define “capacity” talent as “someone who can not only do the current job really well, but who also has the desire and ability (thus the capacity) to learn and take on new tasks and responsibilities.” “Cul-de-sac” talent, on the other hand, is “someone who can do the current job really well, but who does not have the desire or ability (thus the capacity) to learn and take on new tasks and responsibilities….Thus, he is like a cul-de-sac [which] doesn’t take us anywhere farther” (p. 237).

So while it’s easy to play victim and whine about how you don’t have the right tools or systems to do your job, the more difficult question is to ask yourself why you feel that way. What have you known but not said? Where are you allowing your light to be hidden under a bushel? What have you done to hone your skills and talents? And if you’re the “boss”: where are you allowing your own insecurities and fears to hold your employees back?

Having these insights will be nice, but without action they will make no difference. In fact, having new insights and choosing not to act on them can actually have adverse effects because, as Oliver Wendell Holmes told us, “One’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.”

So what will you do to avoid having this article be only an insight? What conversation have you been putting off that would add to your satisfaction at work? Often having those conversations you think are going to be difficult are not as difficult in real life as they are in your head as you play all the scenarios.

The moral of the story: do something with the knowledge in your head. Have those conversations and stop being a victim of your current circumstances. If you don’t like where you are, do something different.

Action defeats stagnation. Since you are alive, your nature is toward growth. Since there is no such thing as status quo, if you’re not growing, you’re disintegrating. As long as you’re still breathing, work on your growth mindset. Do something – anything – to move toward your goal.

There’s no time like the present!

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Don’t Just Do Something, Stand There. Then Do Something. http://www.bocksoffice.com/dont-just-do-something-stand-there-then-do-something/ http://www.bocksoffice.com/dont-just-do-something-stand-there-then-do-something/#respond Sun, 27 Nov 2016 01:26:29 +0000 http://www.bocksoffice.com/?p=1400   I learned long ago that insight without action makes no difference. If you just talk about stuff, you are just a big talker. But more and more I’m noticing that action without thought may actually do more harm than good. The area I seem to struggle most is distinguishing between judgment and impartial observation. I […]

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I learned long ago that insight without action makes no difference. If you just talk about stuff, you are just a big talker.

But more and more I’m noticing that action without thought may actually do more harm than good.

The area I seem to struggle most is distinguishing between judgment and impartial observation. I am learning more and more to recognize the effects of ego for myself, and my struggles are more with the small ego than with the big ego. When I choose not to take action, it’s probably because I’ve convinced myself that others will see a certain action as ego-based or arrogant or haughty, so I go against my instinct and remain silent. Or inactive. Or passive.

What I didn’t realize until a couple of years ago is that going against my intuition, which I see now as Higher Self inspired, is actually allowing my small ego to take over. “Stay out of the spotlight, hide away, don’t disrupt things, don’t call attention to yourself, don’t rock the boat.” Those thoughts have been more noble or desired in my mind, so I’ve tried really hard to stay silent. To keep the peace. To make sure everyone is happy and no one is upset. (And I’m not even a middle child!)

I’m working on discernment, which, according to Wikipedia is

“the ability to obtain sharp perceptions or to judge well (or the activity of so doing). In the case of judgment, discernment can be psychological or moral in nature. Within judgment, discernment involves going past the mere perception of something and making nuanced judgments about its properties or qualities. Considered as a virtue, a discerning individual is considered to possess wisdom, and be of good judgment; especially so with regard to subject matter often overlooked by others.”

So given that definition, I also need to give up my belief that any judgment is a negative one. We are judging all the time. We are judging whether we can cross the street before the car gets to us. We judge whether we can drink the coffee without burning our tongues. I am learning to embrace the wisdom of Lucius Annaeus Seneca, a Roman statesman who was born in 5 B.C. He said “If you judge, investigate.”

There are so many topics to investigate in our world right now, two in my world being the presidential election and the Dakota Access Pipeline situation. You really can find evidence to prove your point of view on anything, both of those topics included. We can talk about each of those subjects until we are blue in the face, and, if we have a firm line in the sand already drawn, we will work to convince anyone who doesn’t agree with us that our position is THE position. If we haven’t yet drawn our own conclusion, we will find people on every side trying desperately to get us to agree with their point of view.

How do we ever know what is true? Is truth subjective? Are facts really devoid of any perspective? How will we know for sure? I think it goes back to discernment. And at some point, it will mean standing for your belief without feeling the need to convince anyone else to agree with you.

Until you’re that sure of your own position, you will find yourself trying desperately to convince others join you in that perspective, maybe to help you convince yourself that you are “right.”

So don’t be so quick to jump to a conclusion. When you see a situation that causes you to feel defensive, just know that there is something for you to listen to and learn from.

Don’t just do something without thinking. Stop. Discern. Contemplate. Ponder. And then take action in alignment with your conscience and your values regardless of what others do.

That energy is actually very magnetic and magnets attract without force.

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Connect, Then Correct http://www.bocksoffice.com/connect-then-correct/ http://www.bocksoffice.com/connect-then-correct/#respond Tue, 01 Nov 2016 00:24:07 +0000 http://www.bocksoffice.com/?p=1398   I am blessed to be in a business partnership with someone I know, like, trust, and respect. When a true connection is made, then magical outcomes can come as a result. But if you don’t have that true, mutually respectful connection, it’s pretty difficult to move forward. Being honest and truthful seems to have […]

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I am blessed to be in a business partnership with someone I know, like, trust, and respect. When a true connection is made, then magical outcomes can come as a result.

But if you don’t have that true, mutually respectful connection, it’s pretty difficult to move forward.

Being honest and truthful seems to have become a lost art in the world today. How do we know who to trust? Knowing someone and liking someone seem to be mutually exclusive characteristics, while trust seems to have gone by the wayside.

Is it possible to know, like, and trust the same person? And do you have to like someone to respect him/her? Does respecting someone mean you can’t like him/her? These are important questions to consider as we decide what we want to do for the next 4 years in America.

It occurs to me that the majority of Americans want something to change in our government. They seem to be sick of the way things have been for the past few years and want something new. Some Americans are in favor of a big shakeup where we just throw in a stick of dynamite and let things fall where they may. I get that. I used to pride myself on being a change agent. I loved the snow globe philosophy where you just shake up the snow globe and allow the snowflakes to fall where they would. If you don’t like those results, just shake it up again.

But as I’ve gotten older (and hopefully wiser), I’m less a fan of change and more an advocate for transformation, which I see as two completely separate concepts. Change requires a focus on the past in order to even exist. You need to take that old thing – concept – idea – and make it better, stronger, faster, or some other -er word that will add to or subtract from the previous.

Consider change for a quarter. Any combination of coins you come up with – dimes, nickels, even pennies – is just more of the same. Yet we are calling it change. If we really want something that is completely new, we have to be willing to give up whatever has been and start fresh.

In order to have true transformation, language needs to shift from problem-solving to possibility-seeking. Trashing the former does nothing to create the future. Yet when we look to change something, it’s necessary that we bring up the past. The way change agents can have the most desirable results is to prove that the opposing idea is “better” than the other. This is transactional thinking, and there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with it. It’s gotten us where we find ourselves today in our government, our educational system, our business community and even in our religious organizations.

However, if what we want is a new way of being, we must be willing to give up the old way of being. We must look first at ourselves and transform our own way of thinking. Margaret Mead told us to never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has. The key words here are thoughtful and committed.

It doesn’t take much thought to show the ways someone else’s ideas are wrong or bad. Or to speak ill of people who aren’t in the room (that’s a definition of gossip). And commitment is doing what you say you will do – or be willing to do whatever it takes without violating others’ rights – even when the emotion you say it in fades away. When we find ourselves committed AGAINST something, we bring heavy and dark energy to whatever we are speaking about. We create resistant and anti- feelings and actions. When we are committed to standing FOR something, that is lighter energy and tends to attract rather than repel.

We find whatever it is we are looking for, so when we look for evidence to prove that the other “side” is wrong or bad, we surely will find it. And when we insist on talking about how “wrong or bad” something is, should we be surprised that that’s what keeps showing up for us?

If we as a country are ready for a transformation, we can’t expect to get that by continuing to look backwards at what hasn’t worked. It’s simple to come in from the outside and point fingers at what others are doing. That’s what seems to have gotten us into the situation we find ourselves as a democracy. We do a lot of talking, but not a lot of listening – and certainly no “getting” – as in, “I get you.” It’s difficult to believe that we have such opposing views in our two parties. Are we looking for ways we are different or ways we can come together? We simply have to look at the effect and the results to draw that conclusion.

Instead of concentrating so much on the effects, what if we started looking at the causes? Even deeper: what if we as Americans decided to BE at the CAUSE of what’s going on instead of only BEING at the EFFECT? Victim thinking is so prevalent now. It seems we would rather point fingers and blame than really step into our own power.

Maybe our country needs a cooling off period where we can start to heal from all the stone throwing and name calling. This is a very important time in our history. What will our children and our grandchildren learn in their history books about what we are experiencing right now? Will we teach how to divide or will we teach how to heal and connect?

Instead of looking for ways to be right about your opinion, what if you looked for ways to connect? What if instead of making sweeping generalizations, you asked questions to learn more? What if instead of being judgmental, you were curious?

Are you finding yourself relating to the rabble rousers or to the higher thinkers? Are you focusing on problems or on solutions? Move from your emotional mind to your thinking mind and allow your awareness to guide you. When you seek first to connect, then correction comes much more naturally instead of looking for ways to correct before you ever seek to make any kind of correction.

Are you willing to give up your need to be right about what’s wrong in order to create a future you want your kids and grandkids to live into? I know I am.

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A Fine Mess http://www.bocksoffice.com/a-fine-mess/ http://www.bocksoffice.com/a-fine-mess/#respond Sat, 29 Oct 2016 00:13:25 +0000 http://www.bocksoffice.com/?p=1395 Many years ago there was a comedy duo called Laurel and Hardy who, through various pratfalls and slapstick routines, found themselves in all kinds of trouble. It was inevitable that at some point in every episode, Laurel would have an idea which Hardy would reluctantly agree to, which would always result in Hardy uttering the […]

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Many years ago there was a comedy duo called Laurel and Hardy who, through various pratfalls and slapstick routines, found themselves in all kinds of trouble.

It was inevitable that at some point in every episode, Laurel would have an idea which Hardy would reluctantly agree to, which would always result in Hardy uttering the now-famous phrase: “Well, this is another fine mess you have gotten us into.”

Funny how what goes around always seems to come around.

Here we are, less than two weeks from our presidential election, and what might have sounded like a good idea at the time, has become another fine mess.

I’m no analyst, and I have a really hard time picking sides for any situation, so I’m doing my best to remain neutral in this comedy of errors. Here’s what I understand:

Americans want change. They are tired of Big Government. They wish someone would come in and wipe the slate clean and tell it like it is. Stop politicking. Be honest and truthful.

Oh, but don’t make any mistakes along the way. Don’t ever say anything you might regret. Watch every single step you take because someone, somewhere may use a comment or a statement out of context and make it look like you did or said something in a way you never intended.

Don’t let your ego get in the way. But be confident enough not to worry about what other people think of you, because you’re never going to please everyone. There will always be someone who hates you. Not just dislikes you: downright hates you.

Don’t burn any bridges because you never know who you will need favors from in the future. But don’t be too friendly because someone will get access to an innocent photograph from years ago and make up a story about it to suit their purposes.

Be careful with everything you write or email or tweet because those records are there forever. But communicate with us and tell us what your plan is for solving our budget and our military and our education and our welfare. But don’t get too involved, especially in places where you shouldn’t mettle. Oh, but do what you say you will do because we don’t want to have to be accountable ourselves. Who would we blame then?

Be honest. Be truthful. Don’t step on toes of people who will be willing to give you money. Or favors. We want to know who you are talking to and all of the deals you are making. Because we want to armchair quarterback everything that doesn’t “work out” the way you promised us it would when you were working to get us to vote for you. After all, you promised.

Make friends with foreign dignitaries so we can maintain our foreign bank accounts and have our international vacations and get some products and services provided at a low cost, but don’t get too friendly. After all, we may have to bomb them someday.

Agree with us on issues like abortion, gay rights, subsidies, maintenance of highways and schools. No us. Not them, us. Oh, that’s right – you will never be able to please all of us because we have no idea what we really want or believe. We the people just know what we don’t want and don’t like.

And we wonder why we find ourselves in the mess we’re in.

If you don’t like the candidates in this election, then maybe you should think about running for office somewhere. You be the one to put your name on the ballot and subject yourself to the mob mentality that seems to have overtaken us Americans this political season.

Get on your local ballot. Run for the school board or the park board or the city commission. And then see what it sounds like when people like you either do or don’t support you.

I am grateful there are people who are willing to put themselves out there to serve despite the way we treat them. They are representing us. If we don’t like what we see, maybe we need to start with the man/woman in the mirror.

Instead of fighting against someone or something else, what if you found something you believed in and stood for that? How might we shift the energy in our own little corners of this big world by just doing that?

Just notice, in these last few days before making the decision about who you will support to run our country for the next 4 years, how many messages are for something and how many are against something. It’s so easy to point out the ways people fail or the things you don’t like. It takes much more courage and integrity to take a stand FOR something instead.

Stand for something or you will fall for anything.

And, lastly, consider the words of one of our greatest presidents: Teddy Roosevelt. Dare to be great, and dare greatly. We can shift this thing if we start pulling together instead of working to divide ourselves.

Teddy Roosevelt Critic Quote Theodore Roosevelt – Critics | Yahooey's Blog  - Quote And Sayings

Teddy Roosevelt Critic Quote Theodore Roosevelt – Critics | Yahooey’s Blog – Quote And Sayings

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Get It? Got It? Good! http://www.bocksoffice.com/get-it-got-it-good/ http://www.bocksoffice.com/get-it-got-it-good/#respond Tue, 13 Sep 2016 00:10:47 +0000 http://www.bocksoffice.com/?p=1393 More than anything else, we humans just want to be gotten. We call that “getting” being heard, being accepted, being loved. But really it’s just that someone else really gets us. How do you “get” someone else? It does come down to being heard, being accepted and yes, even being loved. But it’s not some […]

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More than anything else, we humans just want to be gotten.

We call that “getting” being heard, being accepted, being loved. But really it’s just that someone else really gets us.

How do you “get” someone else? It does come down to being heard, being accepted and yes, even being loved. But it’s not some heavy process you need to learn to go through. It’s just being present, putting yourself in the other’s shoes as much as possible and, well, and just getting that person.

In our fast-paced world, we seem to pride ourselves on our busyness which doesn’t allow us much extra time to give others the benefit of our undivided attention.

I’m learning to slow down and be present with my mother who is in the early stages of dementia. As a former teacher, she’s been the one to give those elementary-aged students her attention for all those years. Now, as her brain slowly loses the ability to find the words and connect them to her thoughts, I find myself to be one who can give that attention to her.

I want so badly to understand what’s going on in her head, but I’m learning that asking her to rationally explain it to me is for me, not for her. So I do my best to be patient and allow her to share her (to me) rambling accounts of situations and people who aren’t there and didn’t happen in my reality. My challenge is not making her wrong, but just listening and doing my best to be present.

When I can allow for the fact that this disease is affecting her in ways I will never understand, that’s when I can “get” her and just be with her without my former judgment.

Translate this experience to your own relationships. Understanding from a logical viewpoint is not required in order to “get” the other. Getting only requires willingness, not righteousness.

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